Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
