you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
