Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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