I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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