I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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