My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize