I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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