We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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