I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
