i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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