True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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