If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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