Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I looked at my own cervix.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
