I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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