just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize