Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
