Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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