Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
