Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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