you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
