so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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