Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
