you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
