She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
