can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Girls should come with a carfax report
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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