somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
