Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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