So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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