I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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