what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
