This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
