If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Randomize