i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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