I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
