i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
