Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do vagina's smell?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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