and you said cock pushups were impossible
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
