my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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