is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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