Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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