everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
