Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
