I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
