talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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