I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
