It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
