if you like me you must not know who I am
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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