Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
