Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
