She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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