Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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