Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
