I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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