That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
