Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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