There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
