and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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