I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
