OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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