there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
