I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
