So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
