remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
