your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
