I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
