She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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