I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize