That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
