How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
