i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
