You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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