i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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