I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
