And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
