Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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