Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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