clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
