I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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