He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
