isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
