She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
