you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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