i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
